Jokes

One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage – Drink whenever you are SAD
after Marriage – Drink whenever you are HAPPY


Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Television
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER – Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.


Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.


A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral: BE SPECIFIC


What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.


Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.
Ant 1 says: we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says: No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says: No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says: No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.


If you do NOT have a Girl Friend – You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend – You are missing EVERY thing in your life.


Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer: On their MARRIAGE.


When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from\nDarkness.
\nEven after you pray, if U R still in Darkness – Please PAY the ELECTRICITY\nBILL.


Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
\nBecause as per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.


Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer: On their MARRIAGE.


When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and asks him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness – Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.


Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because as per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.

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